Tales Bounced off the Lonely Road
Stuart Wilde – February 2nd, 2006
Some years ago I mounted my high horse of indignation and I went out to fight evil: human evil, transdimensional evil, demonic ghouls, black magicians, anything satanic. I’d plough in like there was no tomorrow.
I scored some fantastic successes – humdingers, but I suffered many more defeats. And I took endless etheric hits, thousands of them. In the end I got tired and sick and I nearly died a few times along the way.
My soul got wet wading through rivers of injustice, maybe you have done the same? Eventually a weight of helplessness and futility hung over me forming a shroud like a wet blanket. I could no longer see which way to go. I was one of those soggy Kleenex heroes, lost in the fog of a thousand things I had no power to fix.
So I got off my high horse and I realized fighting evil is stupid. I took to an idea I call, ‘cheesy denial’. You smile and pretend everything is just fine. But in the end cheesy denial becomes painful because it endorses a lot of lies. So as a cure for cheesy denial I tried isolation for three and a half years, but I got lonely. So now I’m twiddling my fingers waiting for a new formula. I think it’s called surrender.
When you sit down and quit it feels a lot better. But it is also rather scary as life passes you by and I also found it confusing; I didn’t know where to put my mind. I can well understand why in the olden days the Knights Templar suffered hardship to go off on crusades to fight the infidels. The problem is that in the end you realize you are the infidel and while rumors of war are true, the war is always inside you.
I can’t see the answer, there is an agony in fighting with your eyes shut; beauty lies in surrender. It’s a feminine humility that calls to wounded souls from beyond the mists of Avalon.
Late at night I’d called to the mist saying, “Help me, my heart, she cry.”
And the Spirit of Surrender she’d talk to me in visions and dreams and she’d tell me to quit and sit and wait. So to while away the time I breathed love into the hearts of liars and crooks and pedophiles and the embezzlers of human souls, and I waited.
It’s going to work: surrender that is.
Certainly, plans A, B, and C were glorious flops. This new tactic might turn out the perfect solution. Once you quit fighting it helps you enormously. I found the injustice of the world overwhelming but there must be an important reason why we are all here watching it. Perhaps in watching we learn what it is that we don’t want to become.
© Stuart Wilde 2006 – www.stuartwilde.com
